So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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