My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
