i think i have two assholes
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
