That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
