Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
