I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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