I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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