Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Pants are for mortals
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
