you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
