Don't you send me to vm
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
