i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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