can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
