i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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