I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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