I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
