gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
