it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she looked like the before picture.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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