Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
