I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
