Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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