Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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