just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
