wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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