32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize