My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize