Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize