he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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