I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
