a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
