That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
...so i touched it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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