Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
