we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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