i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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