so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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