so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize