I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This is my gift to your gina
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So. Much. Porn.
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