i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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