I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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