:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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