There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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