Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
