just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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