oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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