So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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