just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
