i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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