there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
