just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
