also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
