It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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