One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
