How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
