Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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