once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
