idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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