I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
