STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
