don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
