I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
