some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
