that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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