I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
