Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
